I wasn’t feeling a gift guide this year. Instead, I’m sharing my REAL thoughts about Mother’s Day.
On one hand, I know what it is: A made-up day meant to sell greeting cards, flowers and gifts, which makes all the fuss feel manipulative and hollow. I mean, I KNOW that my family loves me, I don’t need a card and a pair of pajamas to confirm it. (Although I wouldn’t be mad if I got these.)
And yet, when the day approaches, irrational thoughts take hold— does my family REALLY appreciate everything I do for them? Are they planning something special, or have they forgotten to stop and celebrate how awesome I am? Of course, each year they serve up lots of love, and I feel silly for letting the day the best of me. I guess the Mother’s Day marketing manipulation works in spite of my best efforts to thwart it.
Being a good mom is a job bigger than I could have ever imagined and takes more emotional energy, stamina, patience, and grace than I ever knew I had. There are so many moments that go by unnoticed. So many little tasks, think-ahead plans, so much mental energy that goes into how can I make sure my kids are okay/having a good time/have what they need? No one announces your successes at the staff meeting, no press release goes out in the monthly newsletter. No boss offers up feedback. You just trod along, feeling your way, and hope that the biggest long-term project you’ve ever taken on turns out to be a success in the end.
Despite the lack of gold stars, it is the most fulfilling and glorious thing to bring a couple of living beings into the world, and help them become autonomous, purposeful, centered individuals with morals and character. Also, it’s really, really hard.
And sometimes — as silly as it is — a card and a bouquet are the annual boost that helps keep you going.
So yeah, no gift guide this year— just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings, and gratitude for getting to raise these two cool people. I couldn’t find a great picture of all of us together (I never can!) so this one of the two of them will have to do.
To all you moms out there: Have the best day.